Just Say No: Healthy Eating and Peer Pressure

If you are on a diet or simply enjoying a healthy lifestyle, than you probably know that peer pressure to eat foods that are not good for you is a major part of your life. If you are worried about the food that goes into your mouth, don’t worry—there are ways to overcome peer pressure. It simply takes a little know-how to get people off your back!

Professional networking and interpersonal communications

The Roman statesman, Cicero, was born into the poverty class and actually had little chance of power unless he managed to make a place for himself among the aristocrats who controlled the city.

He succeeded brilliantly, identifying and mingling everywhere, knowing everyone and with such a vast network of connections and personal contacts.

Networking isn’t just an exchange of information; it is one of the greatest joys of a mature career. Neuro scientist, Robert Sapolskey, lived among wild baboons and found that alliance between old and young apes was an effective strategy for survival. Older males that affiliated with younger males tend to live healthier, longer lives than their peers.

Can you ask a man out on a date?

WITH civilisation and the challenges of the new centuries, a lot of things are changing. Gradually some of our esteemed cultural beliefs are being eroded and replaced by foreign ones.

Ordinarily in an average African set-up, women are supposed to be seen and not heard in virtually every aspect of life. But today a lot of things have changed, despite these changes, however, there are some things an average African woman is supposed to be silent about.

And one of such issues is sex. A majority of African women cannot express their sexuality as their spouses will see them as being too forward or wayward. In Africa, a woman can’t ask her husband for sex neither can she deny or express the way she feels to her husband.

Some people may feel this is not so, but how many men will feel comfortable if their wives told them they feel like having sex or choosing a particular sex style.

Debbie and Kay work in the same establishment. Their tables are quite close to each other. Both of them are singles and searching; and it is a common joke in the office that they are a couple.

Kay is on the shy side while Debbie is very outgoing. One day, she asked Kay out on a dinner date. He was shocked; he couldn’t give her an answer immediately. He asked Debbie to give him some time. Debbie’s request was quite strange to Kay and he stepped out of the office to inform another friend of his on the telephone.

His friend advised him to play along. While he was speaking with his friend, another colleague of theirs overheard his conversation and told Debbie about it. Of course, Debbie cancelled the date. Kay did not know why; and she became withdrawn from Kay. Although she refused to tell him why, but Debbie confided in another colleague that she felt disappointed in Kay as she had no hidden agenda about the date.

The question remains, was Debbie wrong to have asked Kay out? Would you ask a guy out on a date. Readers react:

Bukola Farunkanmi: This is a tough question, but honestly there is nothing wrong with you asking a man out on a date. It all depends on the type of relationship you share with the guy. But as a lady, you have to be careful as the guy might interpret your invitation to be something else.

Bimbola ’Laditi: I see nothing wrong with you inviting a man out on a date. He could be a client, friend or colleague. But you must define the kind of date. A majority of our men don’t know when to draw the line or how to draw the line between a relationship and platonic friendship.

Most people don’t know or they refuse to believe that a man and a woman can be only friends. The moment they see a man and a woman together they believe they must be sleeping together. So it is with some men. If a woman invites them out on an innocent date, they believe it must end up in the bed.

The other aspect is that, as a human being you must have the liberty to express your feelings and your mind. If you admire a man, there is nothing wrong with you expressing the way you feel, but our culture and environment do not permit such. If you do, the man himself will run away from you as he would feel you are the wayward type.

Kemi Eluyemi: I can’t ask a man out on a date. Why would I? This is because he would misunderstand me. Nigerian men are very funny. Even if I admire him, there is nothing wrong in waiting for him to ask me out.

If you ask him out, you are making yourself vulnerable to him and how are you sure he won’t tell all his friends? You then become an object of ridicule and he eventually will become full of himself.

Bisi Fadeyibi: A woman has every right like a man to do whatever she feels like. There is no big deal in inviting a man out on a date; but our society does not permit such.

I can do so, but that will depend on my relationship with the guy. If we are not close or we are not friends before I won’t do so. Moreso, some men assume too much of themselves. When you ask a man out, he may feel it is because he is very special and he may start to misbehave. Our society even does not permit it, so why bother?

Yinka Adeniran: Whatever action you want to take, you must put your immediate environment into consideration.

Actually, there is nothing wrong in you inviting a male friend out on a date or actually telling him you admire him; but the society will frown on it. The man himself would think otherwise about you, so why do you have to bother yourself unnecessarily?

Why eating of indigenous foods can reverse malnutrition

Increasing incidences of stunting, micronutrient deficiency (vitamin A, iron, iodine and zinc) as well as non communicable diseases like hypertension can only be solved by adequate utilisation of indigenous plant foods.

A survey of Igbo traditional food system and uses of various food items by researchers from the Department of Home Science, Nutrition and Dietetics, University of Nigeria, Nsukka, Enugu State attested to this fact. The survey, which characterised different plants that formed the traditional foods of indigenous people of Igbo land and their potentials was by Dr. E.C Okeke, Dr. H.N. Eneobong, Dr. A.O. Uzuegbunam, and Dr. A.O. Ozioko from the University of Nigeria, Nsukka, Enugu State in collaboration with Dr. K. Kuhnlein from McGill University, Canada.

The 2008 study was published in an edition of the Pakistan Journal of Nutrition. It documented traditional foods in terms of their availability in season and their use in eight communities selected from four states in the Eastern part of Nigeria. It reflected the fact that in different communities, foods are eaten for their traditional and medicinal values, as well as for their socio-cultural significance.

Considering the results that showed that over 21 different types of starchy roots and tubers, 21 types of nuts/ seeds. 20 types of legumes, 116 types of vegetables, 12 varieties of mushrooms and 36 varieties of fruits exist all year round, indeed, every community has sufficient food items to ensure good health, thus the need for people to be aware of their uses and health benefits to the body.

Though many are going into extinction, some varieties of yam like the three leaf yam (D. dumentorum) and the aerial yam (D. bulbifera) that the younger generation do not know or love, have lower sugar and starch contents, thus making them appropriate as part of a good diet for people with diabetes, as pointed out by the study. Also, unripe plantain, mostly taken by people with diabetes, is a rich source of iron required for building blood.

It was amazing that 116 varieties of vegetables, including mushroom, were documented in the study. For example, Indian spinach and Achara or grain millet leaf are typical of Igbos from Imo and Abia States, while bitter leaf is most popular in Anambra State. Interestingly, most are used in making soups and are said to have a variety of medicinal values. The study found that bitter leaf, apart from its use in cooking soups and other dishes, can be chewed raw after washing to treat malaria and diabetes.

Also, washed extract of fluted pumpkin, commonly called Ugu is used in treating low blood level (anaemia). Ocimum vindis, referred to locally in Igbo land as Nchuanwu or Ashigbu has a lot of medicinal value, and it is used for treating dysentery and stomach upset.

Uncommon vegetables in the Igbo land such as water leaf, that many people hardly give a second thought, when cooked with other vegetables can help in the treatment of malaria, dysentery and to boost appetite. Similarly, Awolowo weed referred to as kpugbum in Igbo, is a wild vegetable used in small quantities for soups because it relieves stomach pain and constipation. Bush marigold, referred to in Igbo as Anwiliwa ani, when cooked as a soup for eating new yam prevents worm infestation.

The root of Hogweed, referred to as Azu Igwe, Agili-ezi or ikpokpo, the respondents said can also be chewed to relieve stomach upset; for after birth pains and in combination with other vegetables for treating malaria and boosting appetite. In addition, other vegetables used in making soup for pregnant and lactating women include local onion (referred to as Obulumgbede or ifulonkpiri in Igbo) and jute plant (referred to as Ayauama or Ukpom in Igbo).

The issue of lack of access to meat, respondents in the study usually solved with the several varieties of mushroom available. Of course, eating mushroom as part of a balanced meal, can reduce cases of protein-deficiency malnutrition in the community.

Among the Igbos, different spices are used. Some spices are hot while others are very mild and flavourful. Most are recognised by communities that participated in the survey as having medicinal values and so could be used for treating such ailments as broken bones, loss of appetite and for pregnant and lactating mothers. This explained why black pepper, referred to as Uziza, Ehuru or Uda in Igbo land, a hot pepper is used for lactating mothers. Other spices used include alligator pepper, melon seed, local onion, locust beans.

Rather than resorting to snacking on junk meals, it was evident that several traditional legumes, nuts and seeds, itemised by respondents can also be eaten. For instance, the African yam, referred locally in Igbo to as Okpodudu can be roasted and eaten with palm kernel as a snack. Fortunately, African yam has many medicinal values too.

Groundnut, when boiled or roasted can be eaten as snacks with banana and popcorn. African bread fruit is also a delicacy that when roasted can be eaten with palm kernel or coconut as a snack. Even people with diabetes can have Irvinga spp, referred to as Ogbono in Igbo land as a snack, according to the Igbo respondents.

Meanwhile, in the riverside parts of Igbo land, apart from people eating coconut with corn as a snack, coconut water, said to work for oral rehydration therapy in cases of diarrhea, is refreshing and good substitute for soft drink.

Breaking kola is an important part of any Igbo ceremony and ritual. In fact it is a symbol of love, unity and welcome. Meanwhile, kola as a snack is also a good stimulant. Its close relative, bitter kola, equally helps to prevent malaria fever.

Fruits abound in the Igbo culture. Apart from the conventional fruits like mangoes and oranges, some traditional Igbo fruits grow in the wild are generally consumed as snacks based on the findings of the review. Fruits itemised include pear-avocado, Ujuju fruit, monkey apple, bush apple, bush mango, pumpkin, garden egg and pepper fruit. According to the respondents, unripe pawpaw cut into pieces and eaten with vegetables can treat malaria, just as leaves of mango tree cooked with others. Similarly, the very juicy Soup sop (Anana muricarta) fruit drives away cough and

pumpkin referred to as Anyu or Ugbogun in Igbo, that is highly rich in B-Carotene is good for eyesight.

Does drinking pap boost breast milk production?

Woman and a baby sucking thombBreast milk is essential for the upkeep of children and as a means to stimulate its production, many mothers take plenty of pap. This culture, which has been on for ages, experts say, still needs to be proved as being effective, reports Sade Oguntola.

She worked into the female ward with a big bowl of pap for her daughter-in-law that has just had a new baby. Usually, it is the culture that new mothers take pap along with their meals to increase breast milk production. It is believed that much as breast milk is all that the baby should feed on, the production of breast milk should be stimulated as quickly as possible.

Mrs. Anne Akinloye also had prepared a bowl of hot rice and vegetable stew, so that right from the start, the new mother imbibed the practice of adequate intake of food so she could be strong enough to take care of her baby.

Many things can cause a breastfeeding mother to worry about her milk supply decreasing or starting on time. This is normal. However, experts have dispelled as untrue the belief that intake of pap, a n age-long culture, stimulates milk production in nursing mothers. They submitted that this was a myth that could not be substantiated scientifically.

Experts submitted that there were no specific foods to eat that will stimulate production of breast milk, but there were things that could help with milk production, stressing that more important than what the mother ate was how her baby ate. According to them, the longer a baby nurses at the breast, the more milk that will be produced once such a baby is properly positioned, well-attached and sucking effectively.

Dr. Adenike Bello, a Consultant Obstetrician and Gynaecologist at the College of Medicine, University of Ibadan, Ibadan, Oyo State, said basically all that was needed to support milk production in a woman were the body hormones, which is naturally produced in the body and the baby’s constant sucking since in it was the sucking that caused the letting down reflex to make more milk come.

According to Dr. Bello, good nutrition and intake of plenty of fluid such as water are just adjuncts to milk production. She explained, “There may be a reason to look into whether the practice of taking pap actually boosts breast milk production. You may assume that it is the fluid in pap that stimulates increase in breast milk production. But, the same women that insist that pap helps to stimulate milk production do not say that water boosts breast milk production.

“By the first principle, one may say if it is just fluid in pap, water should as well have the same effect. So, there is the probably, may be, some substances in pap which had not been studied that accounted for this effect.

Meanwhile, Dr. Bello declared that pap is not harmful but useful considering the fact that the woman gets some energy and water from it. According to him, “when people ask about intake of pap to stimulate or increase breast milk production, I encourage them to drink pap. Even though, I do not know what substances is in it that will make breast milk come, when you hear things anecdotally, and you hear it enough, you find that there must be some truth in it despite scientific evidence to back it up.’

“This is why it would be nice for it to be studied in the laboratory to really know what is really responsible for this effect. You can be certain that if pap was part of a western diet, by now, someone would have taken it to the laboratory and come up with what may be in it that causes breast milk production to be stimulated.

Dr. Bello added that just as women believe that taking pap helps stimulates breast milk, some however, resort to taking palm wine. “The same way a few women swear that a glass of palm wine would have similar effect like pap. Now, I do not advice women to go around taking palm wine because I do not know how intoxicated that palm wine would make the baby.

Everything you eat ends up been secreted into the breast milk and I do not want the baby to get drunk.

However, Dr. Bello said another practice that most women discourage is the addition of sugar to pap because of the notion that the added sugar may affect the baby that would be breastfed, causing pile or what is referred to as jedi-jedi among the Yoruba speaking community.

According to the expert, that intake of sweetened pap will affect the baby really is not true medically. “Breast milk comes from the body; the nutrients in the body are used in its production. So, if you drink garri, after its digestion, it would be stored as a form of glucose in the body. The body would take part of it already stored as glucose as well as other nutrients to make breast milk.

“So, there is nothing like, a woman that eats beans, her child would suck beans or a woman that eats rice, her baby would suck rice. The only thing is that some of whatever may be in the woman’s blood stream that was yet to be stored can enter into breast milk because there is no barrier par say. In the same vein, that does not mean that you eat garri or other foods; it would make the breast milk to be better. No, all those foods are just stored in the body and the body takes from the store and produces breast milk.

Dr. Chris Aimakhu, a consultant obstetrician and gynaecologist with the College of Medicine, Ibadan, corroborated the fact that there was no scientific basis for the belief that drinking pap could boost breast milk in nursing mothers. According to him, “studies have shown that increased fluid intake may be difficult for them. Drinking so much water may be difficult, but they can drink plenty of pap. Also, psychologically, they feel strong and they can breastfeed their babies

According to him, even those that normally do not enjoy taken pap go round the problem by trying various varieties of pap as well as add plenty of milk and sugar to it.

Professor Alice Nte, Director, Institute of Maternal and Child Health, University of Port Harcourt, Port Harcourt, explained that what essentially was required for boosting breast milk production was for mothers to take a little more than was required to satisfy their hunger and ensure they allowed the baby to suck as much he or she desired.

However, research shows that several factors can contribute to a decrease in milk production. Stress can negatively affect milk production and as such, the need to find ways to eliminate unnecessary chores, sit down and close your eyes for a moment or two! The simple act of relaxing will encourage letdown; and at the same time, there is nothing to distract the baby and make him stop nursing before he’s actually full.

Babies kneading the breast naturally trigger breast milk letdown. So, take the time to massage your breasts while in the shower or bath, periodically throughout the day and especially while baby is nursing.

The 6 Human Emotional Needs

I would like to share a powerful insight that I have used to help thousands of people to understand themselves, create breakthrough changes in their behaviors (e.g. stop smoking, quit other addictions, resolve internal conflicts, motivate themselves) and reconcile relationship issues.

Have you wondered why it is seems so difficult to change our habitual behaviours? The reason is because our decisions and behaviours are driven by our emotions more than by our logic. Logically, we want to stop smoking or stop overeating, and yet, we still find ourselves repeating the pattern of behaviours. Why do we do this? It is because smoking and over eating meets our emotional needs.

At the same time, we all logically want to have a great relationship with our spouse or friends. And yet, we sometimes find ourselves getting into the same patterns of arguments and conflicts. Again, this is all caused by a mismatch of emotional needs between well-intentioned parties.

To change any kind of behaviour, you must first understand that as human beings, our decisions and actions are almost ALWAYS driven by the need to meet six human (emotional) needs. This is why we sometimes do things that don't make any sense at all. We do it simply to meet these 6 human needs (by the way, this was developed by Anthony Robbins). So, what are these 6 human needs?

Human Need 1: Certainty

The first human need is the need for CERTAINTY. We all need to feel a sense of security that things will be okay. Certainty gives us peace of mind and assurance.

Although we all have the need for CERTAINTY, we use different behavioural strategies to meet this need. For example, when you feel stressed, worried, unsure and uncertain, how do you meet your need for certainty?

Some people use destructive strategies like over-eating, smoking or drinking alcohol. Don't some people do these things to relieve the stress of uncertainty and get into certainty? Others get certainty by controlling other people (becoming a control freak) or by losing their temper. In one episode of Oprah, she interviewed a woman who handled her stress of being sexually abused by creating a multiple personality disorder.

At the same time, there are useful strategies to get certainty. Some people pray/use religion to get that sense of certainty. Some people, adopt empowering beliefs like, ' I know I will get through this' or 'everything happens for a reason' or they simply have faith in themselves. Others get certainty through exercise, meditation or confiding in a friend.

So, think about this? How DO you meet your need for certainty? Is it constructive or destructive to you?

Human Need 2: Uncertainty

Now, here is the big paradox! As human beings, we have a second emotional need that is in direct conflict with our first need. We all have a need for UNCERTAINTY!

Think about it. If you had absolute 100% certainty in your life where you knew exactly what was going to happen, when it was going to happen, how it happens, before it happens every single day, how will you feel? You will feel BORED TO DEATH. This is why there are multi millionaires who have all the money and all the possessions in the world, but are depressed! Their life is so certain that they have no more challenges or surprises. No more uncertainty!

This is also why a woman/man in a perfect marriage where everything is routine and predictable will eventually get so bored, that they will unconsciously start picking a fight, having an affair or leave the marriage. There is no more excitement and stimulation that we all need emotionally.

So, how do people meet the emotional need of uncertainty (i.e. challenge/surprise/variety) in their lives? Again, some people do destructive things like having an affair, starting arguments,
picking up one-night stands, taking drugs, smoking when bored and drinking to get high (yup, smoking and drinking offer both certainty AND uncertainty).

Some of us do neutral stuff like watching a movie, playing sports, changing jobs, making new friends or partying. This gives us the stimulation and variety we all need.

Some constructive strategies would include taking on new challenges (e.g. going mountain climbing, traveling, starting a business, writing a book). So think about it, how do you meet your need for uncertainty?

Human Need 3: Significance

The third human emotional need is the need to feel significant/special/unique/important/needed. We all hunger for this need and again pursue it in different ways. Some people feel significant by attaining qualifications (e.g. MBAs, PhDs etc..), achieving success, buying lots of toys (e.g. bigger house, bigger car, country club, Rolex watch etc...) or pursuing status symbols.

Others get significance by putting other people down, dressing in a unique way or tattooing every conceivable part of their body. Again, others feel significance by having children (and making sure they excel and do them proud) or flaunting their wealth. Some people get significance by being proud of certain identities they adopt like being a Christian, a Muslim, an Army Officer, a Vegetarian etc...

Many people have asked me why I continue to work so hard to write so many books, spend hours writing posts on my BLOG and speak at so many seminars when I clearly don't really need the money anymore. The answer is that I am driven to all these things because it makes
me feel significant (useful, special, needed) and provides me the uncertainty (challenge & variety) that I crave. It also, gives me the 4th human need, connection and love and the 6th human need, contribution.

Again, think about how YOU meet the need to feel significance?

Human Need 4: Love and Connection

The 4th human need is in direct conflict with the 3rd human need of SIGNIFICANCE. Think about this. If you felt TOTALLY significant where you were so unique, so special and so different from all the people around you. Would you be happy? No! You would feel disconnected from the people around you.

One of our strongest needs as humans in the need to be accepted, to be loved and connected to the people around us. Once we become so special and unique, we will start to find ourselves losing that connection to our peers. I can tell you that I feel that way sometimes myself. At times I find it difficult to really be myself, connect with people I meet because people keep expecting me to be this perfect guru, with all the answers.

Have you ever wondered why a superstar like Britney Spears with all the fame, money and talent in the world could end up screwing up her life by engaging in destructive behaviours like drink driving, drug taking that would lead to 2 divorces, losing custody of her children and ending up in a mental institution? My guess is that although she felt total significance, she felt unloved and disconnected from everyone around her.

She probably could not be herself, always having to put up a front and feeling that all the people around her were just using her. Her need for connection and love probably drove her to mix around with the wrong company (i.e. Paris Hilton) and engaging in destructive behaviours that would get her the love/connection and sympathy she was lacking.

We all need to feel love and connection and again get it through different means. Some people get connection by getting into a relationship, getting married, making love, joining clubs, playing with their children, having pets, prayer (connection to God) or hanging out with friends.

Sometimes, people even 'try' to get love and connection by self-abuse and falling sick (studies show 90% of all illnesses are psychosomatic). This gives them the sudden outpour of sympathy and love that they yearn for. How do you get love and connection in your life?

If Your Relationship is Not Happy, Here's Why...

I have found after working with many couples that whenever a marriage breaks down, it is always because partners are not meeting each others emotional needs.

A man (or woman) often wants to leave the marriage either because he/she no longer feels significant, loved, certainty or uncertainty by his/her partner. What is a very very common scenario is that after a couple has a child, the man no longer feels the same level of significance anymore. It seems that his wife spends all the time with the kids, that he is no longer important. So what happens? He rather spend his time in the office where he feels more significant
or find a girlfriend who makes him feel special again!

So, here is a point of reflection. How well are you meeting your partner's emotional needs?

If Your Staff Are Leaving Your Company, Here's Why...

As a boss of my own company and a person who trains other companies in bringing put the best in their employees, I have found that your staff will only be happy and motivated to give their best when they feel significant (they are praised often and recognized), certainty (sense of security of their future in the company), uncertainty (their jobs gives them variety and challenge) as well as connection (they love the people they work with and have a sense of belonging).

Similarly, people leave a company not only for monetary reasons. They leave when they feel a lack of security (certainty), lack of challenge (uncertainty), lack of connection (they hate the people) or a lack of significance (unappreciated).

Reflection: if you are a boss/team leader, are you meeting your staff's/colleagues emotional needs to bring out the best in them?

If You Have An Addiction that You Cannot Change, Here's Why...

Finally, I have found that if you have a negative behaviour that you find hard to change, it is only because it is being used to meet two or more of your emotional needs. For example, if you find
yourself constantly losing your temper, it is because it gives you a sense of significance and certainty.

If you find it difficult to stop smoking, it is probably it meets your needs for certainty (relaxes and de-stresses you), uncertainty (smoke when you feel bored), connection (especially if you smoke with friends to 'fit in') and significance (makes you look 'cool'). Often, when a behaviour meets more than 2 needs, it becomes an ADDICTION.

In my patterns of excellence programs, I show people how to break limiting patterns of behaviours by first finding an alternative way to meet their needs. If you do not find a new useful alternative behaviour to replace it, you will find yourself going back to the old habit/addiction.

The Last Two Human Needs: Growth and Contribution

You are probably wondering what the last two human emotional needs are. Understand that the first four needs MUST be met by us constantly. It is what drives our daily behaviours.

However, to be truly fulfilled and happy, we need to meet the last two needs of 'growth' and 'contribution'. We need to constantly grow by learning more and challenging ourselves to become better. The moment we stop growing, we start dying emotionally.

Finally, we all need to contribute beyond ourselves, This is why people like Bill Gates and Warren Buffett make all the money in the world only to give most of it away to charity. contribution is what gives us ultimate purpose and fulfillment in life.
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This article was posted to me by my good mentor in online business, Adam Khoo. Adam is the orhtor of the most human empowerment book, SECRETES OF SELF MADE MILLIONAIRE.,
Get to meet him at http://www.SecretsOfSelf-MadeMillionaires.com

Addicted to Coffee

You Know You're Addicted to Coffee When...

-You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.

-People get dizzy just watching you.

-Instant coffee takes too long.

-You channel surf faster without a remote.

-You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.

-You can outlast the Energizer bunny.

-You short out motion detectors.

-You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.

-Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.

-You help your dog chase its tail.

-You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.

-Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.

-You ski uphill.

-You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.

-You answer the door before people knock.

-You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse